A quick reminder on a Friday: nobody’s dying words are “I wish I had spent more time at the office.”
December 14, 2011 By Leave a Comment
Please Don’t Read Me Your PowerPoint Slides
Remember, your slides are there to support your talk, to make it more interesting. Find some great images or dynamite illustrations to burn your story into my brain. They are an (and usually hate this word) opportunity for you to turn a boring old talk into a multimedia event akin to the U2 Zooropa tour. Okay, that may be a stretch.
However, if you must read to me, please bring milk and cookies and offer a nap time afterwards. Or during, for that matter.
P.S. I’ve perpetrated this odious deed myself. Let’s all get better together.
December 12, 2011 By 5 Comments
Dead Unicorn – The Horrible Truth About Social Media ROI
Every time someone asks, “what’s the ROI of social media?” A unicorn dies. So sayeth Scott Stratten, author of Unmarketing.
He’s right.
“What’s the ROI of social media?”
First of all, it’s too broad a question. “What’s the ROI of high speed internet?” “What’s the ROI of our cash register?” “What’s the ROI of executive perks?” Are all similarly difficult to answer. All these things are, like it or not, the underpinnings of business as usual.
Unless you’re an Amish woodworker, you need high speed internet. If you sell things at a retail outlet, you need a cash register. And if you have a gaggle of executives, you need to provide them some level of perks on par with their peers or they’ll bolt for one of those companies. Finally, if you have customers, they’re probably talking about you in social media.
Social media is fast becoming THE fundamental communication channel for your customers. Is your plan to pretend it doesn’t exist because it is presently difficult to measure? Your competitors are certainly hoping you will.
Social media is market intelligence
As I said before, if you have customers, they’re talking bout you in social spaces. They used to do it anyway, it was called the coffee shop, the farmer’s co-op or the local tavern. You need to understand and be prepared to engage your customer in meaningful conversations in social spaces. Today, it’s Facebook and Twitter. Deal with it.
If you must measure the sentiment around your brand, you can start with SocialMention or Google Alerts. They’re free and can help you take the temperature of your brand’s buzz. Do this before you drop a briefcase full of cash one of the big listening packages.
Social media is story-telling
A Twitter account is free. A Facebook page for your business is free. A YouTube account is free. However, they are, as friend Tom Buchheim says, “free like a puppy.” You need to be prepared to tell your story in these channels.
Please note, the following is not your story, “be my friend and get some occasional discounts.” That’s boring. That’s a loyalty program.
“I’m in my office.” Also not a story. In fact, that’s not even interesting as a statement.
“Our founder, Phineas Q. Widget, III, created the first prototype for WidgeCo during a 72-hour Mt. Dew-fueled bender in his garage. He started two fires and collapsed in a heap of ecstasy when he first saw it function properly.” That’s a story. Your customer can identify with that. Turn your brand into a serial novel and people will see you as a friend instead of just a commodity.
Social media can help you stretch your advertising dollar
Social networks know a ton about their users. Web sites have this uncanny way of harvesting data about their likes and dislikes, their hopes and dreams as well as pictures of what they’re having for dinner.
Instead of placing an ad in the local paper might be seen by some of the people who might possibly be slightly interested in what you’re selling, you can place a Facebook Ad that is served only to men from age 18-24 who have “liked” the band Mastodon and the movie Napoleon Dynamite.
Now that’s some serious targeting.
Hop to it, the metrics will come
Just as people lagged in seeing the value of the Web and email as business technologies (ever work at a company where not all employees had email accounts?), so do they lag on social media. Just as metrics evolved with those technologies, so will they evolve with social.
That said, there are already lots of things you can measure with social media. Tracking codes on links that are specific purchasing calls-to-action can be easily consumed by web analytics packages. There, you’ve got some ROI. Just be careful. Don’t go all Kenny Tarmac and turn your Facebook page into some kind of full-court press hard-sell smarm-a-palooza. Remember you’re telling a story, not selling.
Facebook gives you some great measures of how many people are engaging with your page, all the way down to what kind of content is most viral. Check out Facebook’s insights immediately, if not sooner.
YouTube, Twitter and LinkedIn all have some sort of reporting that you can combine with some clever web analytics work to paint a picture of your progress.
So don’t use the lack of hyper-sophisticated ROI black boxes for social media as an excuse to ignore social media. Get out there and tell your story, your customer is waiting.
October 31, 2011 By Leave a Comment
Beware Pep Tse, Ancient Master of Product Placement
Pep Tse, master of the ancient art of product placement
This is a post about Gurus, with a capital G. They have books, they have accessories and they have the answer to everything. If they’re a big enough Guru, they can become a lifestyle choice in and of themselves. They will sell and resell their “5 Secrets to Better Pancakes” or “12 Simple Steps to a Nutmeg-Free Life”.
But the real secret is that there are no secrets. The Guru makes money off those who want to buy a book instead of doing the work.
If you ever find yourself in a position where you think the only thing standing between you and your dreams is writing a check to a “Guru” to unlock the secrets of the universe, do yourself a favor and don’t. Save your money. Remember that success is very closely bound to hard work and is accelerated by God-given talent. A positive attitude is also a nice-to-have.
Chris Brogan talks about being an overnight success. It only took about ten years of non-stop speaking, blogging, writing, networking and entrepreneurship. Chris is no “Guru”, he’s a smart, humble, hard-working guy. It’s a grind. So you better love what you do, and you have to be willing to do it and do it a lot.
Remember that the mighty Beatles started as a gig band a the Cavern in Hamburg. From 1961 to 1963 The Beatles made 292 appearances there (see Wikipedia). So instead of climbing the mountain to find your guru, find yourself a cavern. Go hone your talent, eventually people will seek you out.
July 22, 2011 By Leave a Comment
Zeus starts a blog
Another gouache experiment from the same session as “Let’s make it slower and more complicated.” The doodle was inspired by a Spongebob Squarepants episode. Stop laughing. Seriously, I’ll tell you about it if you stop laughing.
In the episode, Poseidon challenges Spongebob to a crabby patty-making contest. While Poseidon quickly assembles the requisite number of patties to win, they are wholly inedible.
My point? I was afraid you’d ask that.
Blogging, like crabby patties, ain’t magic. You can’t set up a blog and magically become a blogger. Believe me I know. You only have to review my post frequency to realize that I struggle mightily with blogging and doodling consistently. I could rationalize and tell you that I only wait until I have something really important to say. But then you’d actually read the blog and call shenanigans on me.
So, as Steven Pressfield says, Do the Work. That’s my advice for the day. It ain’t easy, but it feels good when you’re done.
July 19, 2011 By 1 Comment
Let’s make it slower and more complicated
I’ve always wanted to try using gouache, an opaque variation of watercolor that offers the look and feel of watercolor with the added benefit of allowing you to layer light over dark.
This scan is a raw scan of the results of my gouache experiment. Honestly, I prefer to draw and paint free-hand to my Wacom tablet. I don’t have the greatest graphics card and I often get lags in performance between the pen stroke and the software causing frustration. There’s also the issue of the actual “tooth” of the paper that can’t be replicated on my low-end pen tablet.
What do I notice? Well, first of all, I need to save the line work for the end of the wash. Secondly, I will start to use watercolor paper as this experiment was on cheap sketch pad paper that curled up and probably didn’t let the paint do its work. Lastly, I need to work a little bigger, these are small-scale drawings of about 3″ x 5″.
Ultimately, it was a fun venture. I’m going to continue to experiment with both mediums, traditional and all-digital. There’s something that’s very satisfying about using real materials and making a real mess. Sometimes, you have to make if slower and more complicated. Especially if you’re cartooning a guy wearing a dunce cap, a renaissance-era man-blouse, a duck floaty, no pants and clown shoes. COMEDY GOLD JERRY!
Thanks for stopping by!
June 22, 2011 By Leave a Comment
Embed my doodles, ya jackwagons!
I’ve had this one bouncing around in my head ever since I saw the TV ad with R. Lee Ermy. Let me refresh your memory:
“Why don’t we chug on over to mamby-pamby land where maybe we can find some self confidence for you, ya jackwagon!” I’d embed the video, but the ad is from a (ahem) competitor of the fine company that sees fit to employ me. I’m confident, however, that the brilliant readers of this blog can use the Googles to find it.
Occasionally I have words of wisdom (or ignorance depending on your perspective) that accompany these doodles. In this case, however, I didn’t want to start tagging people as jackwagons for fear of karmic retribution and/or voodoo doll payback from said jackwagons. However, I encourage you, gentle reader, to enumerate any jackwagons you’d like to list in the comments section below. Because history has taught us that the internet, if nothing else, is a great tool for making fun of other people from a great distance.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy the doodle. If you’re a blogger, feel free to use any of my doodles in a blog post if the mood hits. I only ask for a credit and a link.
If you’d like to commission a custom blog header (like the illustrious Social Meteor, Fourth and 140 and Social Poser), you can use the contact form on the blog or just tweet at me @doodlehaus on the Tweeters.
If you REALLY enjoy it, I made it into a t-shirt over at the Doodlehaus Zazzle store. I’ve got a bunch of doodles posted over there suitable for gifts for people you don’t really like all that much. Warning: if they don’t like you, don’t buy a coffee cup. That can be used as a projectile against you.
June 13, 2011 By Leave a Comment
Buy my #crap!
Thanks to the power of social networks, you can now annoy people all over the world. In real time!
June 9, 2011 By Leave a Comment
Social Meteor Zombies
Troy Janisch, aka Social Meteor, has been asking for a zombie-themed header for quite some time. Well, after long last, here it is. I hope it’s not a sign of things to come.
Just remember:
1) Cardio
2) Double-tap.
That is all.
May 13, 2011 By 3 Comments
You’re not enchanting anyone, you know
There’s a phrase that I’ve been seeing and hearing a lot lately. Every time I hear it, I can feel my fight or flight reflex start to flex right at the base of my brainstem. The phrase? “Enchanting customers.”
Maybe I’m jaded, maybe I’ve lost my sense of wonder, but I think the term “enchanting” is one that should be reserved for the Dungeons and Dragons crowd and Harry Potter book clubs.
Seriously, you’re enchanting people? You’re waving your magic wand and making them fall in love with you against their own will and better judgement? I call shenanigans.
If you walk in to most CEO’s offices and tell them that you’re going to increase the bottom line of their tool and die business by enchanting customers, I’m pretty sure you’ll get a swift kick in the privates.
Even if you manage to enchant your customers, the magic wears off all too soon. Before you know it, people are complaining about the magical experience you’ve given them. People are constantly complaining about their smart phones. “Stupid phone, I wish you would bring me a sandwich.” So, the ultra-light device that can make calls anywhere in the world without a cord and, oh by the way, has more computing power than the first lunar module isn’t good enough for you?
Enchantment is a losing battle. Remember when you first heard Eddie Van Halen play “Eruption”? Did your face melt? Mine did. Soon, however, every hack on Hollywood Boulevard was tapping on their Jackson and abusing their Floyd Rose floating tremolo and the magic was gone.
When was the last time you were enchanted with a product or phenomena? I would say the UI on the iPhone did it for me. Other times before that:
- the first time I saw Ruby on Rails demonstrated
- the first time I saw AJAX in action (that’s Asynchronous Javascript And XML for you non-nerds)
- the Wii
- the first time I saw Chernenkov radiation (the cool blue glow at the bottom of a nuclear reactor)
Noticeably absent from the list? The last time I had lunch at Applebee’s.
Aside from that, enchantment usually comes from watching someone practice their craft. There’s the Eddie Van Halen example above. Ever watch a master paint or draw? I sit there and get giddy. It’s really like watching magic. Check out Nico DiMattia painting Spiderman below.
My point is that you can’t start with the goal of enchantment. You can’t just put on a pointy hat and learn a few spells. Enchantment is something that arises from practice and dedication. It is that moment when you can actually see how much someone loves what they do. It doesn’t matter if you’re watching someone toss dough at a pizza joint, bend a guitar to their will or something as simple as a bartender remembering your order every time you belly up.
Forget enchantment. Start with practice.
